Why Can Feeding an Autistic Child Be So Hard? And What You Can Do to Help

Feeding any child, but especially an autistic toddler can be very difficult! Let’s talk about a few of the reasons why and what you can do to help:

Why is it so hard?

• Sensory Aversion

  • With all neurodivergent individuals, there will be tastes, textures, smells, etc. that are aversive to that individual. This will change from person to person so it is important to realize if there are specific textures or tastes that the child does not like - it will make it way easier for both of you to just find something else they will like.

  • I have had children that do not like slimy things (sauces, avocado, etc.) or do not like sweet things. It is all unique to the individual.

  • As an example, I hate tomatoes and mayo on sandwiches. My parents commented on not liking vegetables on my sandwiches or burgers for years and eventually, I realized it was just the tomatoes and mayo. It makes the sandwich too wet and more often that not, does not actually add anything other than the sandwich for me. Now as an adult, I am able to communicate that but a child might resort to crying or food refusal if they cannot communicate the specifics they don’t like. Predict, understand

• They know what they are eating

  • If we take blueberries for example - some are small, some are big, some sweet, some sour, some mushy, some more firm, and some are a combination of all of the above.

  • Many of the kids I work with do not like fruit or vegetables and this is likely why. They are looking for consistency in taste.

  • Chicken nuggets from McDonalds or from your freezer taste the same each and every time. It is so much easier to predict what your food will taste like.

  • This is also likely why the child may get upset trying something similar but different - like chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or from a different brand.

  • This is also why left-overs or reheated foods may be turned away by a child. The texture or temperature may be different than when it was ‘fresh’.

• Predict and control what they can

  • Being a toddler is hard. Being an autistic toddler or child is even harder.

  • If they are used to having chicken nuggets most days, they might be upset when they don’t get them. If they are used to a specific cracker, they may get upset when you run out.

  • These things will happen and it is ok but understanding why it happens is useful.

  • Especially if they have limited ‘safe foods’, it will seem like the end of the world to them. We know autistic individuals in particular thrive when they are able to understand and predict what will happen and food is one of those things.

Ways to Help

• Be positive

  • We don’t want to force the child to take bites - this will likely only further the aversion to the food.

  • If they ask about it, are watching you eat it, or maybe it’s in a video, talk about how good it is. You can also talk about how it might help them be stronger, faster, etc. as this can help with motivation.

  • Be playful! I saw a Tik Tok with a mom who cut a bell pepper into rings and gave it to her daughter as a bracelet. The mom wore the bracelet, talked about how cool it looked, and then offered her daughter one. Talk about broccoli being little trees and pretend to be a dinosaur eating a tree. If we can slowly break down the walls, they may be more likely to try it.

  • We never want to force a food upon them. It will only cause more harm than good.

• Get them to help

  • Take them to the grocery store or farmers market and let them pick something out.

  • Allow them to help (in an age appropriate way) in the kitchen while making the food.

  • It has been shown that if the kids help with the meal or food, they may be more likely to eat it

• Model eating other foods

  • Put the foods on your own plate. Talk about how good they are.

  • If they have a favorite character on TV or YouTube, see if there happens to be an episode of them eating the food. They may be more likely to try if their favorite character is eating it.

  • If you can positively model eating these foods, they may be more likely to eat them.

• If you want to add fruits and veggies, try them cooked

  • If you want to try a fruit or veggie, refer up to the “Predict and understand” section above. The variations of a specific fruit or vegetable makes this hard and the reason why children often like crackers, chicken nuggets, or yogurt.

  • Things like applesauce, steamed veggies, or other consistent tasting and textured foods may be a good place to start.

• Pairing it with an already preferred food

  • This may work in some situations and may not work it others.

  • If it is a sauce or something you can’t “undo”, make sure the child is the one combining them. If you combine them and the child is not ready, it may cause a meltdown.

Ultimately, fed is best - and that is ok if it is the same chicken nuggets each day! As long as medical professionals are saying your child is ok, don’t stress too much.

This can take time for children to try new things. It’s also important to remember that all toddlers and children can go through regression with their eating habits and that includes autistic toddlers and children. Be positive, model by example, and be there for them.

Please talk with your pediatrician or doctor to ensure your child is getting all of the nutrients and calories they need. There are also feeding specialists that can better support this area, if needed or recommended by another medical professional. *